Piddle, Twiddle, and Resolve
by Cenedarprime
Summary: Link has been in Zelda's royal council for six months now... six very long, very ANNOYING months. So when his wife comes to visit, things take a very refreshing, happy, and funny turn. Malink fluffy twoshot, kinda crackfic, R&R if you like
1. Chapter 1

_Piddle, Twiddle, and Resolve_

_Chapter 1- Piddle and Twiddle_

The sun was in the middle of the sky, amidst a sea of deep, ocean blue. The residents of Castle Town were bustling about the square that day. In the center of the town fountain stood a tall statue, emblazoned with the image of the Triforce, and above it, a swordsman of such stature and courage, that his name alone sent ripples of awe and excitement through a crowd. The Master Sword gripped in his raised fist, and a shield of Hyrule strapped to his other arm.

Yes indeed, Link was a hero known for his tremendous deeds and worshipped because of them. Link knew that the townspeople were obnoxiously grateful to him for saving them from the terror Ganondorf had wrought upon their souls. Link didn't consider himself a hero; he claimed to have only done what was necessary, seeing as he, being the Chosen Hero of Time, was the only one who could.

But, that hadn't stopped the townspeople from doing him a "favor" by placing him in Zelda's Royal Advisory Board. Zelda had assured him that he would only be called in the most important cases, where his expertise in the art of war, travel, and other cultures would be needed. And an expert he was, after all, he'd been all over Hyrule multiple times cleansing Ganon's filth from the land.

It was considered one of the highest honors to be on Zelda's board of advisors.

_"Goddesses, if this is an HONOR, then I tremble to think of what you would do to me when you're mad… why must you mock me?"_

If there was one thing Link had learned during his past six months in the castle, it was that as long as you could act as if you were paying attention to some of the older advisors, then you could think about something completely irrelevant without them getting suspicious.

It was a relatively simple arrangement. Link had been called in to aid the Princess in finally settling a final peace agreement with the Gerudos of the eastern desert. Having dealt with them personally, the princess considered Link most worthy of being able to judge the terms fairly, apart from herself of course.

It was a simple task; at least he thought so at first…

* * *

_"I thank you for coming, Link. I know it's a terrible inconvenience calling you away, especially so soon after your wedding… how if your wife, by the way?"_

_"A regrettable but necessary measure, I'm sure, your highness. She's doing fine; she was just a little miffed that I had to leave so soon."_

_Zelda chuckled and said, "I can't rightly blame her. I normally would've tried to spare you but the younger; more enthusiastic of my advisors insisted that we needed your input." Link nodded and they continued on in comfortable silence._

_Before entering the main chambers for the conference, Zelda cast him a warm smile and said, "I promise you this will only take a week at the most. After that you are free to return home and never come back, if I have any say." Link laughed and together they pushed through the doors…_

* * *

That, of course, was _six months ago_, to the day. Between the older, more worn torn veterans constantly getting into arguments with the Gerudo representatives, the younger advisors, and even themselves at times, and the fact that neither Zelda nor Link could seem to get a word in edgewise, progress had almost come to a screeching halt. Link looked at Zelda, who acknowledged himwith a side smile and a roll of the eyes. Link responded by chuckling angrily. His head snapped up when one of the elders said, "I knew this was an ill born idea! To be able to create peace with these _people_ is impossible, your highness!"

Nabooru merely sighed and shook her head, being the only one keeping the Gerudos from shouting back. Zelda sternly glanced at the elder and growled, "You shall address your superiors by their proper names and titles, Yaro. Now sit or I shall have Sir Link remove you… _in pieces, if necessary._" Yaro scowled and sat.

Zelda sighed, "It is clear to me that perhaps a rethinking in peace terms is in order…_ again_." She once again made ready to appoint another team to the task of writing up new terms. But she soon remembered that it never helped. Every team they had put together ended up divided in a rift of narrow minded idiocy.

_"I didn't want this to be necessary, but it appears I have no choice…"_

"The team for writing up the new treaty shall be comprised of myself, Nabooru, and Sir Link. We shall have it written by the end of this week, at which point this council WILL agree to a compromise, lest Nabooru and I need to assert more…_ authority_. Is this satisfactory, Nabooru?"

The Gerudo laughed and said, "Your highness, that is the best idea I've heard this month. I agree to the terms." Link cleared his throat and tried to hide his weary frustration as he said, "I too agree…" With much grumbling from the elders and excited mutterings from the younger councilmen, the group disbanded, only Link and the two leaders staying behind. Link finally took the silence that came and said, "In all due respect, your highness, I cannot stay one minute longer. Even if my own knowledge could help, the council will not listen to me!"

Nabooru calmly said, "Link, we understand your frustration, we're feeling it too. All we can do know is plan out the wisest terms and quickly resolve whatever problems the elder councilmen would try to bring up."

"Nabooru, I have not seen my wife in six months! We were only married a month before I was called out to this travesty! I know it sounds selfish but I have done all I can so far to try and help these foolish old goats reach a compromise! I think maybe now of all times a little selfishness on my part could be excused."

Zelda nodded and said, "Well, perhaps we could ask you to do one more task for us. Link, I imagine that you, Nabooru, and I are all agreed on what we think the terms should be, correct?" Link and Nabooru nodded. "Then it is you who shall write the treaty."

Link suddenly grew very pale. "W-write the treaty!? There's no way I can write on the same level as…" Nabooru cleared her throat and recited clearly, "And so the peoples of this desert province are hereby resolved to fight with our last dying breaths, resigned to die free individuals instead of living as slaves to a maniacal tyrant of a chief. Link's address of the necessity of the Gerudo Resistance to fight Ganon. I have never heard a more inspiring speech in my life, good sir knight. You write ten times better than any of us here, second only to the princess."

"Then why doesn't Zelda write it?"

"Because you need to do something before this travesty of a conference drives you mad. I know it is a difficult task, and it is a lot to ask of you to do, having done so much for Hyrule already. But it is necessary to get the council to listen to sense. You know what our terms are; you merely have to write them in a way so as to appease as many people as possible without changing our goals. It's like sparring with swords Link, give a little ground, but not so much as to lose your footing."

And with that, Zelda and Nabooru both bowed to him and left for their quarters.

Link grumbled, silently cursing everything he could think of as he slammed the door to his quarters shut, flopping into the chair at his desk. He took the pen from his inkwell and after a moment of thought, began scribbling down a few lines. He paused in the middle of the fourth line, scowled, then crumpled up the paper into a ball and threw it aside. He got a fresh piece and scribbled another two lines before he crumpled it up and threw it away as well.

He sat staring at the next piece of paper for a second, and out of anger, crumpled it up and tossed it without even writing anything. He sat stewing in his anger for a second, then took his ocarina out from his desk drawer, playing a few notes before going into Epona's Song…


	2. Chapter 2

_Chapter 2: Resolve_

As the sun rose five days later, Zelda and Nabooru could be seen walking down the hall to Link's room. The two ladies stopped upon hearing a sort of music from the closed doors of his quarters. Nabooru, absolutely lost, asked, "What is that racket?"

Zelda sighed a smiled sadly, "The newest thing from Hyrule, it's called _music_." Nabooru chuckled and the two pushed their way in, biting back their shock at the state of the place. Small balls of paper littered the entire floor, and Link sat in his desk chair, whistling on his ocarina, his hair even more unkempt, his white shirt untucked, and a small amount of stubble showing on his face.

"Link… where is the document?" Nabooru asked cautiously.

Link slowly put down his ocarina and reached over the side of his chair, picking up a paper wad from the floor, and tossed it to Nabooru. She unfurled the crumpled parchment and muttered, "We are hereto resolved to hither… this is terrible! Where's the rest of it?"

Link sighed and pointed to all the paper balls on the floor, sinking into his chair with another long sigh. Nabooru regarded him with horror and asked, "Do you mean to tell me it is not yet done!?"

Link looked at her for a moment, and simply said, "No ma'am, I mean to tell you it has not yet begun."

Nabooru slumped against a wall and gasped, "Good goddesses… a whole week! A whole week gone and nothing done… this kingdom was created in less than a week!"

Link scowled to himself, and then looked at Nabooru with a respectfully emotionless face. "Someday… you must tell me how you did it." Nabooru narrowed her eyes for a second and only said, "Disgusting, Sir Link… but come now, we haven't lost hope yet… go on, get back to work… Zelda, tell him to get back to work."

"I think she's asleep."

Indeed, Zelda was seated in a nearby chair, dozing peacefully. Apparently she had been having a terrible lack of sleep too.

"ZELDA, WAKE UP DAMMIT! THERE'S WORK TO BE DONE!"

She grunted as she awoke, casting a groggy glance to Nabooru as the door opened once again, quite quickly and suddenly.

Link looked up and his eyes nearly bugged out of his head. There in the doorway stood a young woman his age, with a simple gray cloak, emblazoned on which was a green Triforce emblem… to signify Farore, the goddess of courage. Her long red hair fell about her fair, pretty face, her big aquamarine eyes widening at the sight.

"M…_ Malon!?_"

"Link!"

Before anyone could say another word, Link had risen from his seat, swept over the floor to his wife, and the two locked in a deep kiss. Nabooru looked at Zelda, absolutely nonplussed, and asked, "Who is that girl?"

Zelda yawned and said, "That's his wife, Malon…"

"How do you know?"

"Because I sent for her, that's why."

Nabooru looked to Zelda with an impressed glance. The princess merely shrugged and said, "Well, I figured as soon as his problem was solved, ours would be." Nabooru smiled widely and said, "Good thinking, princess… pardon me miss, allow me to introduce myself, I am Nabooru."

This went blissfully ignored, as Link and Malon were far too busy kissing the daylights out of each other.

"_Nabooru_, chieftain of the Gerudos? Oh, and let's not forget Princess Zelda… miss?"

The two separated for a second, only to take a breath and dive into another kiss.

Nabooru turned away with a blush and said, "Link, kindly introduce me to your wife… she _is_ your wife, isn't she?" Zelda chuckled and said softly, "Of course she is, look how they fit."

Nabooru chanced another glance and had to admit, they did look pretty good together. Zelda smiled and said, "Come along Nabooru, let's let these two be." Nabooru followed her out the door and closed it behind her, yelling ahead,

"Zelda? Wait, where are you going, there's work to be done!"

"Obviously." Zelda said with a giggle.

Nabooru froze in her tracks and sputtered, "Wait… don't tell me they... they're not going to… _in the middle of the morning?"_ Zelda merely smiled and said, "We aren't all from the desert, Lady Nabooru." Nabooru shuddered and grimaced and Zelda laughed lightly. They walked off, with the intention of not returning till the following day…

* * *

The next morning, Zelda found Nabooru outside the east side of the castle, leaning against the wall and looking quite at a loss as to what to do with herself.

"Nabooru? Why are you out here? I figured you be up there, cracking the whip."

Nabooru stumbled on her words, "Oh, ah… well… well, the curtains are still closed." Zelda looked up to Link's window and found that, indeed, the shutters were closed tight and the curtains blocked the view of the room. "Oh look at that, they are indeed. Well, I guess what they say about newlyweds is right…"

"Oh please, spare me your bawdy Hylian humor, this early in the morning…" Zelda laughed and her head shot up as she heard the shutters and window open. Malon stretched her arms and leaned out of the window, looking all across the courtyard, finally noticing Zelda and Nabooru down near the wall. She motioned for them too wait, and disappeared back in the room.

She reappeared in the courtyard fifteen minutes later, in a nightgown and woolen shawl. "Please, pardon my husband, he isn't up yet. I apologize for my rather abrupt entrance yesterday…"

Zelda waved her hand and said, "Do not apologize, your mind was quite taken elsewhere. This is Lady Nabooru of the Gerudos." Malon curtseyed respectfully and Nabooru bowed in return. "Please, lady Malon, tell us more about yourself as we go wake up your husband."

"There's no need to be calling a farmer's wife "lady"… Malon will do just fine, thank you."

"Nonsense, you are the wife of a knight after all, I shall give you proper respect." The three continued to talk upon entering the castle again and making their way up to Malon and Link's chambers. "So Malon, out of curiosity, is Link much of a romantic? He hardly talks more than he has to in council, does that me he chats your ear off in private?"

Malon blushed but smiled widely. "Actually, no… Link doesn't necessarily put much stock in words sometimes, he prefers actions over words. In fact, I don't think I ever remember being wooed with words at all…"

Nabooru asked, once again puzzled, "The how did he win such a lovely girl as you, and how does he continue to keep you so close?" Malon giggled for a moment, and grinned broadly as she opened the door to their room…

"He plays the ocarina…"

Link met her in the doorway and kissed her sweetly, handing an envelope to Nabooru and closing the door before either her or Zelda could follow him and Malon inside. Nabooru looked at the sealed envelope and opened it cautiously.

"Looks like Link finally did his job…" but alas, all that was in the envelope was a small note in Link's neat scrawl…

_  
"Your highness and Lady Nabooru,_

_I am taking my wife back to bed. Do not expect either of us for the next 24 hours or so, at which time I will have your document ready. Kindly go away._

_Your faithful servant,_

_Sir Link"_

Zelda laughed out loud as she walked away, Nabooru stumbling and blushing as she followed behind. "Goddesses above, how do those two survive!?"

* * *

As Link finished dressing in his white tunic and cape for the conference meeting, Malon approached him in a very formal purple dress, as if she was attending a royal ball. Upon seeing his confused look, Malon laughed and said, "Zelda wants me to attend this meeting. I want to see for myself you've had to do for six months." They kissed slowly for a long time, and then left the room for the main audience chamber.

The doors opened and all attention shot to Link and Malon, a number of excited whispers running through the room, along with some unintelligible murmurs from the elders.

Zelda smiled broadly and said, "Good sir Link, would you kindly read us your treaty?" Link nodded and guided Malon to a seat next to Zelda, as he took the seat at the head of the table, where Zelda normally sat.

"Her highness, Zelda, will not be participating in this final meeting. I shall take her place." Yaro made to object but Link shot from his chair, pulling the Master Sword from its sheath, hidden amidst his cape. "Don't speak again." Yaro quickly sat, eyeing Link nervously. The hero cleared his throat and began to read from his document, funny thoughts racing through his head as he dictated his own prose…

* * *

_"Amazing…who would've thought such plain language could do so much." Link stared aghast at his own work as Malon rubbed his shoulders, smirking triumphantly. "I told you, all this needed was a hero's prose and his farmer wife's common sense."_

* * *

Upon finishing the treaty, he said clearly in a very authoritative voice, "Is there _still_ any confusion as to the terms?" A resounding silence swept the room, although some of the younger councilmen looked like they would wet themselves with excitement. "Very well, Princess Zelda and Lady Nabooru shall sign the treaty, making it official. Now if you excuse me gentlemen, I would like to take this time to say something…"

Link stood and addressed the Gerudos, "You have been terribly patient with this travesty of a conference and Hyrule thanks you for that. As for our elders…"

He cast a fear inducing glare to the elder councilmen. "Had you not spent so much time caught in your narrow minded, groundless hate of our allies this would've been done with six months ago. You are all pig headed, self obsessed, righteous snobs and I take great pleasure in being able to say that I hate each and every one of you. And if you don't like it, well… I guess you can all just take it up with my sword." Some of the younger council began to snort and chuckle lightly, causing Link to turn to them.

"You're not off the hook either, honored gentlemen. If you hadn't spent so much time fawning over me you might've been able to teach these old goats some modern day wisdom. I hate you all too." The room was silent as Link walked over to his wife, bowed low to Zelda and Nabooru, and finished with, "I hereby resign from her majesty's royal council. Now, if you excuse me, my wife and I will be returning home now."

Malon fought to contain her roaring laughter as they left a dumbfounded council in the hands of a very satisfied Zelda and Nabooru…

* * *

As Epona galloped away with Link and Malon, the red headed farm wife giggled and said, "Have I ever told you how much I love you, good sir knight?" Link chuckled with a low, warm tone and replied…

"You know I don't put stock in words Malon, you can show me tonight…" Malon blushed profusely, but smiled broadly as they galloped into the sunset, Epona giving off a loud whinny as they disappeared into Hyrule Field…

* * *

**A/N: Let me say this, this was a blast to write. For those not in the know, the title of this story, and a couple of the scenes, were inspired by the musical 1776, by Sherman Edwards. I was listening to the soundtrack and went, "EUREKA! FLUFF TIME!" I'm actually proud of this one. Review if you wish, you know I love feedback .**


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